SPA 035: Don’t Talk About Winning

“Your reputation is what you perceived to be, your character is what you really are, I think your character is much more important than what you perceive.” – John Wooden

Let’s face it, everyone yearns achievement.

Everyone wants some form of recognition for their contribution be it monetary or not.

Winning is one of them.

Different people have different reasons to win.

In general, whatever reason that may be, we all want to win because it feels good.

Even if you signed up for a competition and declared that you are competing only for experience and winning is not your goal, you do feel better winning than losing. In other words, in this context, you don’t intentionally make it easier for your opponents whether you fought hard or not. If there is a chance for you to win, you will take it.

Some athletes compare winning to losing, and for them, they view losing as something negative to the extent that winning and losing define them as a person. To the extent that winning or losing is a result that affects their self-esteem. Winning tends to make them feel good about themselves.

In this case you must win. If you lose, you would feel horrible about yourself.

Then you’ve associated winning to success. You are effectively aiming to win to avoid the pain of what it means to you if you lose and winning affirms your reputation as the best among the rest.

Different people look at success differently, but in general, success carries with it some pleasure, gratifying and fulfilling feeling that makes you happy and excited.

If you associate winning to success, it means where times you don’t have such a moment, whatever it may be, you have not succeeded. Winning could be a measure of your self-worth or

In this sense, you wouldn’t say things like “I don’t want to be first, I prefer to be second.”

In this context, you aren’t able to feel as satisfied if you win silver instead of gold.

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Show Links:

• Harvard Business Review: If You Want to Win, Tell Your Team It’s Losing (a Little)
• Psychology Today: Why Do We Have an Obsession with Winning?
• NPR: Why We Play Sports: Winning Motivates, But Can Backfire, Too
• Finding Mastery with Michael Gervais

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